Glass half full

I tend to have a glass half full attitude. I know that sometimes doesn't come across here, but I try to be optimistic. I also have a nothing ventured, nothing gained sort of mentality.

Yes, I am away from home for the summer (again), but I look at the positives of gaining valuable experience and having the chance to live in a truly beautiful area.

I have been involved with many things, both before and since I began training for ministry, where the church meets people where they are, serving their needs and commecting with their lives. That may not have led to more 'bums on seats' on a Sunday morning, but that, for me, isn't the point. It's about taking the good news of God's love to people. It's about sowing seeds. How they will be received and grow will differ, but who will sow them if not us?

So, I get a bit twitchy when I constantly hear moaning that one church or another (usually, it's a small number who do all the hard work and the moaners have little or nothing to do with the poject in my experience) is doing this or that in the schools or through holiday clubs, but there are no more coming to church. I usually refer them to the parable of the sower. But I also womder if those in the communities those churches serve pick up on the pervailing attitude of the congregation and that puts them off. It certainly would put me off.

I know it takes a lot of effort and time and, in many cases, money even to do things outwith the church's walls or over and above the Sunday service. But does God not bless a cheerful giver? Will not God, in his own way and in his own time, feed and water those seeds, so they may grow in his light and love? A light and love that only his body - the church - can take into the world.

So, wherever I am called, I pray it's to a glass half full and give it a go sort of place. After all, that's who I am and I believe that's where God is calling me.

Will I come back?

They seem to like me up here. Really like me. On Sunday there, I led the whole act of worship for the first time at both congregations. So, that was the third Sunday and second time I've preached.

But how did I feel about it. It went better than I expected. It's strange preaching to a congregation I barely know. The first time it was especially strange, as I was preaching into the abyss in some ways. That went down well, and I'm sure things will be better as I get to know the people here; their hopes, fears, prejudices etc they have.

I know I'm already breaking with convention. When the offering was brought forward I received it. That was something which I picked up from Highland Cathedral and both the person bringing the plate forward and the congregation liked it. I also moved the 'minister's throne' and sat on an ordinary chair. I've only wee legs and mine were dangling off the throne. Given that's behind the communion table, I doubt anyone really noticed. And I did ask the Session Clerk if it was okay first!

The children were a little quiet, but they've not really encountered me before. I did, again, move a chair so I could speak to them. There's not really room for them to come forward, but they all sit together. The next Sunday I do a children's address I'll have a chair waiting for me.

I even, unintentionally, got a laugh from the congregations. What I was saying was intended, but I didn't expect a laugh - it's not that it didn't warrant a laugh, just it wasn't a joke (if that makes sense?). I know there was one or two points where I stumbled a little, but suspect hardly anyone would have noticed.

After the service I waited at the door - during the previous 2 weeks I've had to leg it from Railway Crossing to First Stop, so didn't have time for that. It was a beautiful day. Comments were favourable, including 'will you come back when you're finished?', 'very good' and 'food for thought'. I must admit to preferring the last comment. Though I am not, usually, a fire and brimstone kinda gal, I do try to get people thinking.

As for the 'will you come back'. It's a great complement, but I really don't feel called here. The people are lovely, the scenery and wildlife outstanding, but something just isn't quite right. I also told them I'd hope they managed to call a minister before I was finished, as it would be nearly 2 and a half years until I am finished training. That time line, along with the time they have been vacant so far would mean they'd have been vacant over 5 years. And, on a selfish note, I'm not sure what spot would do here - both in terms of his calling and for work.

It is good to be here and get alongside the people here for a while. It's also taking the pressure off the axillary minister who, in everyone's opinion, does far too much. All good experience for both sides of the equation. After all, apparently some in the congregation are now beginning to say they prefer a woman in the pulpit!

Hidden waterfall

Out for a walk along the beach today. The seals were close to shore, but too far away for the wee compact camera. According to the locals, the seals are often where I spotted them, so I will head back on another day with the SLR.

Seeing wildlife and scenery here is easy. If fact, it's hard to miss. At the moment I am watching a song thrush gather beasties from the lawn. Goldfinches are regular visitors to the manse too, helping themselves to the dandelion seeds.

As I walked along the beach, I began to hear the sound of running water. I knew I'd maybe need to cross a burn on my journey, but didn't expect to see this:

It was just so surreal, this waterfall. Tucked away. It struck me as almost looking like a tropical waterfall. Given it's location, I suspect this is quite a hidden gem. Hidden, but beautiful and worth the effort to reach. Oh, that could take me to a sermon, but I'll just remember it's beauty and the almost perfectly horizontal stratification of the rocks.

Communioned out

Over the course of the last 2 weeks, I have been involved in communion, in one way or another, about a dozen times. Twice in a Sunday service of worship, once at a presbytery meeting and the rest by way of home communions. The different settings have been interesting to witness and reflect on. I suspect there's still a lot of processing still to do.

At the home communions, I expected to be more moved than I am in communions on a Sunday morning, due to the more intimate nature of them. But that's not how it felt. Perhaps it was knowing I was, to a certain extent, on show - I am the newbie, the student minister, here for the summer. I have been all too aware some of those how I have visited during the course of the communions have been sizing me up. Most, though have been very pleased to see me and welcomed me into their homes.

Perhaps it's me not knowing these people. The auxiliary minister obviously knows them well and, I suspect, that relationship is what makes it more profound for him. I hope, as I get to know the people I will serve, that I also get to experience that.

Looking at the home communion set, with the dish which could only take wafers or small squares of bread (really, don't get me started on that!) and knowing the wine was horrible (sweetened grape juice - really, is grape juice not sweet enough? That's why it ferments well!) got in the way for me. Rather than reverently take the elements, I was aware I would have to stop the expression of yuck over my face as I took the wine. But it's not about me, it's about those I serve. They, clearly got much from the communion and fellowship.

Included with the communion was a reflection on the reading which had been used during the Sunday communion service - a cut down sermon, I suppose. Personally, I think I would rather spend that time offering pastoral care to those I visited, but I can also see the merit of what's carried out here, as it keeps those who cannot attend in touch with the teaching in church.

With that in mind, and given home communion only seems to occur here in the week after communion season, I do wonder if a special effort could perhaps be made to get those who cannot attend to church. While some could not attend, most probably could if they were taken. Surely that would be more of a communion - a common sharing of worship, fellowship and the elements themselves? I think I have a bit of processing of that to come.

Communion Season

It has been communion season at Railway Crossing and First Stop. This involves an actual season of services - preparation on the Friday, communion on the Sunday morning and thanksgiving in the evening. I was aware that this was something which happened in the early post-reformation church, but until now did not realise is was still being practised in some parts of the Kirk.

It's a living tradition, from the vibe I've got, though up here less people come to church when it's communion, which I was really surprised by, and a little shocked. Though many churches in the Kirk have adopted allowing all who are baptised to take communion, that's not the case at these churches. Both have a reasonable number of regular worshippers, who are (I use the technical term) adherents. Many of those do not attend when communion is on. I also suspect the numbers drop for communion Sunday due to the historic fencing of the table and perhaps not being able to attend all three services. That, I know, is not a problem from the Kirk Session's point of view, but the individuals concerned may see it as such. Very interesting.

Especially at Railway Crossing, the elders were very nervous. I know that can often be the case, but with a small church (both in architectural and people terms) it didn't seem onerous. Though I was just an observer for communion (naturally, it was led by the auxiliary minister attached to the congregations) I reassured the Session Clerk that it didn't matter how the bread and wine went out, as long as everyone got some. Chill.

I later found out one of the reasons they Session will get worked up about communion. They only celebrate it at Railway crossing twice a year! Firststop falls into the more 'normal' Kirk pattern of 4 times a year and they don't seem to get quite as worked up, though half the congregation are elders there, so that might be something to do with it.

It's been a great experience being a small part of these communion seasons. I have also been involved in home communions, but I will write about them later. This is the first time I've really seen just how nervous the Session can get. I also wonder, if I were called to a church which hadn't yet opened up communion to all, not just communicant members, how I would persuade them to change that. Definitely things to be going on with.